You gotta know when to hold ’em…

Kenny Rogers’ wise, gravelly voice seeps into my consciousness when it’s time for things to make a shift in my life.  As a woman who does not consider herself to be the queen of overall lyrics, I tend to be able to remember the chorus of songs and can ‘fake’ or ‘meow’ through the parts I don’t know.  I am more of a musically and rhythmically inclined person.

This week’s Wednesday Wishcasting, prompted by Jamie Ridler Studios asks:

What do you wish to learn?

I wish to strengthen my life experience of knowing when and how to create boundaries, especially in situations in which I feel triggered or more clearly, flipped out.  I have mad skills creating boundaries and structure in classroom settings and with children with special needs.  I am good with setting boundaries with colleagues when I am delegating tasks.  I am even quite good with creating healthy boundaries with most people.

Where I have growing edge and also can see how I am making gains is when a situation is highly emotionally charged.  Sometimes, I find that I end up absorbing other’s intense feelings and then feel confused if they are mine or not.  I am becoming aware of my somatic experiences of feeling physically nauseous, dizzy, or tired.

My research has revealed that there is a percentage of women and men who are especially energetically sensitive and/or experience life as being highly empathic.  As I work with my business coach, Susan Liddy, I am also learning how to strengthen my emotional intelligence.  Honing and mastering these skills will support my path as  situations arise during which energetic and emotional boundaries will nurture and strengthen me.

Strategies that I have been integrating into my life include:

  • Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as tapping
  • Meditation with the intention to better understand and sit with a triggering situation
  • Deep breathing (known as pranayama in yoga), especially Nadi Shodhana Pranayama
  • Labeling my present moment feelings and sending them love and care
  • Dialoguing with the “little Lisa’s” who are needing attention and acknowledgment
  • Reaching out to trusted friends and family
  • Going for a walk on the beach, in the lapping ocean waves
  • Surfing
  • Riding my bike around town
  • Insuring I have eaten a healthy meal or snack to support my body and blood sugar levels

Being that I feel committed to my spiritual, emotional and humanly evolution, I look forward to continuing learning and integrating new healthy wellness strategies into my days.  Saying ‘yes’ to myself while kindly and clearly saying ‘no’ to what does not serve me is in the best interest of my own growth and all those around me.

As I tune in to my feelings and their wisdom, I am able to make decisions that create ease and peacefulness in my life.  A past therapist commented that I was an experiential learner.  At the time, I wasn’t sure there was any other way to be aside from diving right in and experiencing all of life’s offerings.

I finally understand what she meant.  Presently, I am enjoying being able to listen to my feelings, sense wellness actions and make choices.  This is alleviating my previous tendencies to run into the ocean fully clothed.  Now, I take time to think through or meditate upon what is most healthy for me.  This often includes creating verbal boundaries, discerning with whom I wish to nurture friendships.

This also includes making sure I create space so that I can choose which swimsuit is best for the occasion!  Bikini underneath my wetsuit?  Tankini with modest coverage?  Honoring my spirit and Self via details and boundaries is what I am finding it’s about!

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17 thoughts on “You gotta know when to hold ’em…

    • Kerry, I would love to know how EFT helps you as you learn and try it out. I have integrated into my daily life, as necessary and feel grateful to have this healthy wellness tool! Best, ~Lisa

  1. Fantastic Lisa! Creating boundaries for myself has been one of my greatest challenges. It’s interesting that you mention empathy…makes me wonder if the two are connected because I am highly empathic and reading your post was like reading about myself in many ways. As you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you also.

    • Tracy, thank you for sharing your journey with boundaries, too! I imagine if you related to what I wrote about being highly empathic and possibly an empath, then it’s quite true for you. Let me know what you find as you research this for yourself. Blessings, ~Lisa

      • Sorry I wasn’t very clear in my previous comment lol. What I wonder is whether there is a connection between empathy and having difficulty setting boundaries because we have such a strong desire to help due to the fact that we can feel the emotions of others so intensely.

        I received your comment on my blog and thought that I would answer your question here. Aspects of spirituality which interest me the most are direct connection with the divine through various means and methods including what is in nature, reading more about the spiritual philosophies of a few key groups including Buddhism and Hindus, and just gaining more in depth knowledge in general to truly deepen my spirituality. I would love to know more about your path as well. Please feel free to comments again at my blog or to email me directly. I have my email address posted on my blog…just be sure to put your name in the subject line so that I know that it isn’t spam. 🙂

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